I need to write more. More specifically, I need to write coherently more. I used to write in a way that made partial sense, at least to the average reader. There was something you could call structure, a premise, a purpose. But I’ve never been good at purging my emotions through writing except for poetry. I haven’t done that as much in the past year or so, and what I’ve come to find is that that can do things to a person. There’s something about having a hobby that came from the genuine place in your heart, that was meant to create a physical embodiment of you no longer being there, or at least in the way it once was.
I must admit, I’m not entirely here, not like I used to be. I kind of go in and out, as if I’m being shoved into a body of water, white noise resounding in my ears as the earth grows hazy until suddenly I’m pulled back up again to be met with the excruciation that is water-filled lungs.
THIS. IS. NOT. HEALTHY. I refuse to accept that I’m just mood swinging, or whatever excuse people tend to throw around. But I am semi-determined to fix this in the little ways the best I can. I need to do something, because nothing drives me even crazier.
Starting now, I’ll write everyday. Something, even if it sucks because I can’t keep doing this to myself. I have to accomplish something, so I’ll try to start here. But I need your help, your support. Because the thing about creators, is that nothing helps us grow more than having our voices heard. But I’m asking for more than that; I want to be listened to.
I will see you tomorrow lovelies.